Toni wrote...

Toni wrote...

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"Freeing yourself was one thing, claiming ownership of that freed self was another.”

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  • Nina Childs

Tales of a Natural Body


Is there anything more scrutinized than a woman's body? This isn't a blog about Roe vs. Wade...you can breathe. But what if it was? Cause the government is literally telling women in certain states what to do with their bodies. Forcing them to have children that they will more than likely struggle mentally or physically to raise and then shaming them if they need assistance in raising those kids via welfare, WIC or any other social program. Let's not even get into all that.... cause it's a lot. I want to talk about tits and asses and legs and hands and feet. I even saw a post about women needing to rid their legs of "strawberry skin" which is essentially large open pores on the legs that are visible to the eye after razor hair removal. I mean damn! Today's woman is literally getting botox in their late 20's and plastic surgery before their bodies are even done developing. I mean just push out a baby or two. The grown woman weight is coming. Trust me. It was fashionable in the early 2000's for mature women over 60 to do botox but now the average age of botox recipients is 28-65. 28! Anyway, add to all that the pressure to have a flat stomach after childbirth (immediately after if you're a celebrity), perky tits after kids and a big ass and it's no wonder every one is running to the Dominican Republic to get plastic surgery and coming back on domestic flights looking like wounded warriors. I am not against plastic surgery at all. It's just not for me,let's be clear. Growing up in a house with a medicine practicing mother I was always counseled on the danger of going under the knife unnecessarily and I mean while plastic surgery may be necessary for a woman's sense of self worth it isn't medically necessary and we've seen the horrors of surgeries gone bad and add to that that EVERY TIME you go under you have a chance of not coming back and it's just never been worth it for me if it wasn't medically necessary. However, if you have had a little nip tuck I say fuck it! Minus well cause it's hard out here. I'm in that middle space. I'm not morbidly obese but I do have a stomach that i'm ready to divorce and a few other gripes about my body which brings me to my blogs point. Tales of a natural body. The body that has breast that sag. The body that isn't dragging a meat wagon. The body that has a muffin top, the body that is frail and small and unable to gain weight and or achieve curves no matter how much food is consumed. The body that goes on Instagram and starves itself because that body too wants the look of a rappers baby momma. The tales of the bodies of everyday women. I feel like the advent of social media has done a number on women and how they view their bodies. The perfect body is attainable but at what cost? I'm just not into pursuing anything that puts my mental and physical health at risk. I'm not saying anything new but I am definitely doing something new. Something for me. I started by not following any accounts that trigger me in regards to my body and I'm learning to be ok with the consequences of accepting my natural body. I was actually apart of a conversation between women where we were discussing how much men actually enjoy women with natural bodies and pudgy bellies sexually when one woman offered that yes, men like it but they don't want to be with or be seen with women who have natural bodies that aren't perfect. I thought on it and I was like hmmmm....I don't know how true that is or isn't but I do know this. No man or woman that actually likes you as a person and sees your value is going to allow the fact that you don't have abs of steel, perky breast and a fatty to stop them from taking you out or dating you seriously. If it does than that person is not for you and needs to grow to see beyond the physical. Don't take it personal. Let them go and grow and move forward. I do also know that body shaming can sometimes become a shield when one just wants to be fat in peace. Babeeeeeeey if you just want to be fat in peace do exactly that! But it's also not right to make another person feel guilty because they are not able to see past your weight or physical imperfections. Again, they need to grow and everyone ain't for everyone.People also change and grow. Let them...but also be mindful that while we don't need to try and attain perfect bodies to attract partners we should try to maintain our health. It's a slippery slope. For now I'm choosing to remain soft and observant. Im being soft about my perceptions of my body and I'm also vigilantly observant about my eating habits. Realize that men do not lose sleep over weight gain. They don't starve themselves or obsess about being hairy. They are very accepting of their natural bodies. Here we can learn from them. Stop apologizing for not looking like an Instagram model. Especially if you're not an Instagram model! Proudly stuff that stomach in those high waisted pants and move on with your life. Cause all my male homies say the same thing, "a real nigga don't care about no tummy, no cellulite, or how your boobs hang. They gonna smash anyway!". I'll add to that eloquent statement that anyone who sees your value can see past the size of your waistline and I'm gonna stand on that.



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