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Toni wrote...

Toni wrote...

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"Freeing yourself was one thing, claiming ownership of that freed self was another.”

  • Writer's pictureNina Childs

The Cost Of War (spoiler alert: It's too damn high)

I got some shit to say. I feel like you would have to be purposely ignoring the world to not know that it's on fire and there are several humanitarian crisis happening the world over at the hands of powerful white men. Men who aren't in it for the people. Men who don't even see people when they play their deadly war games. I like most of us with a beating heart have been torn apart and in shambles watching 4 year olds mining in the Congo for iphone materials. Crying tears of rage watching newborns left for dead in Al shifa hospital in Gaza. Feeling gaslit reading and watching all the lies and weird propaganda coming from the Israeli government and being backed by the US. All while standing by helplessly and watching our spineless "leaders" here in Amerikkka send billions of dollars to Israel to assist them in wiping an entire people off the map while we live paycheck to paycheck and struggle to pay for housing in most states. It's crazy! It's damn, fucking crazy. It got me thinking about the cost of war. I actually had lunch with someone who, to sum it up, works in the accounting department for a huge American military contractor and he said a few things that made me stand at attention, between him trying to convince himself that what he's been doing with his life isn't questionable. He said that he's seen invoices where contractors charge the government five thousand AMERICAN DOLLARS for toilet that again. He also said that when there are wars they clean up. Duh. But outside of the obvious fraudulent and astronomical costs that we cover with our hard earned tax dollars while we struggle to stay afloat, what's the emotional cost? What's the spiritual cost? What price does your mind pay? Especially as an oppressed person in this world.

War will cost you comfort. I don't know about you but I've been doing the work,life,genocide tango. It's that thing where you spend countless hours watching every clip, reading every article and going down long rabbit holes of research on what the hell is going on till the wee hours of the morning. Then you have to wake up and go to work and act as if there aren't children, the same age as yours, getting blown to bits in their living rooms, while you edit footage of your latest project that you currently don't give a fuck about because...."People are dying Kim!". Then you try to interact with your children without feeling guilt and then remember that your children are black and they use to kill black children with bombs and hey...if they feel like it they may just do it again. You feel helpless, you feel lost, you feel tired but most of all you feel angry. Or do you?

War will cost you friends. I sat and watched people who haven't even made enough to purchase a car within their respective unions, post for weeks non-stop about these strikes go silent while Palestinian babies got bombed on live. I argued with people that I thought I knew who feel like you know...."What about the hostages? What about Hamas?". And my skinfolk who sat silently and had thee FUCCN AUDACITY to say, "What about the Congo?". Not having known or posted a damn thing about it. It was just convenient to use that as a pivot because they're still posting memes and their if we give a fucc! I've watched most painfully friends that I thought I had in politics say nothing about anything but call me for help with their campaigns that are coming up. The politicians. The so called people who are vying for control to help the people don't actually give a fuck about people. I lost respect for all of them. Every last one. Quietly...and permanently.

War will cost you your peace. Having to reconcile everyday that there are protests happening all over the world and not one government, not even at the request of their constituents that put them in power, is doing anything substantial to push humanity forward in anyways that are lasting and meaningful. That will fuck with your spirit. Make you angry. Make you want to get radical.

These are just the costs of the war as a third party viewer. The cost for those living in war zones is exponentially higher. Most are paying with their lives. Even as I type this. Their homes, their lives, their hopes, their dreams, their spouse, kids, neighbors etc leveraged as tender in war. The cost of war is like the's too damn high! For that we can thank capitalism and the devilishly greedy monsters who perpetuate it. Capitalism always demands some form of human enslavement to keep it going...and it's the fundamental problem.

I don't have any solutions that are well thought out enough to share but I'm starting with just finding my way back to the tribe that has humanity at the forefront of the conversation. I'm steering clear of the distractions that are comfort and propaganda and lending my talent to the revolution and evolution of humanity in whatever capacity I can. The great scholar and revolutionary Kwame Ture said this, "This country is a nation of thieves. It stole everything it has, beginning with black people. The U.S. cannot justify its existence as the policeman of the world any longer. I do not want to be a part of the American pie. The American pie means raping South Africa, beating Vietnam, beating South America, raping the Philippines, raping every country you’ve been in. I don’t want any of your blood money. I don’t want to be part of that system. We must question whether or not we want this country to continue being the wealthiest country in the world at the price of raping everybody else.". Kwame knew the price of War. Who can afford it?

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