Now a couple of things have to be made clear before I delve into the fuckery and the niggatry that took place over the last 24 hrs. 1.This story is 100% true. No omissions, no additions. I'm keeping it 1,000. 2. You have my permission to laugh at my stupidity. I figure since I went through this shit and ignored about 222,000 red flags along the way to save a few hundred dollars,you all can at least laugh at it. Fuck it. Buckle your seat belts folks this is a doozey.
It all started with a social media post. I posted if anyone knew a tile worker because I needed a Simple back splash tile job done in my bathroom. After hours I got only 1 recommendation. It was "mejustme" tagging himself of all people. Now might be a good time to tell you that I lied about this being 100% true because "mejustme" isn't his real handle. So anyway, he tags himself which should have been the first red flag. So I slide into his dm's which is a place I've been before. Let me back up.
So "me just me" is someone I know from around town. I originally met him at a city council meeting a year or so ago and we became further entangled after he slid into my dm's trying to run some game. I was never really feeling it 100% didn't know why but I entertained it cause hell...I'm a cancer and we be wanting attention. Vapid for sure but I'm trying to evolve. So weeks into us talking he mentions someone that we know mutually and how they're out of town at the same event...during Covid no less. Now this person he mentioned has become a good friend.I should add that when I mentioned the other person, let's just call him "Saul", again not his name so we're down to 98% truth. Either way, he acted as if he knew of Saul but he didn't really fuck with him like that. Now me and Saul have been knowing each other for over 2 years now.We've supported each other in different things and even went on 1 date though nothing happened, we remained platonic. So with how he was pushing up on me I went to Saul to see if he knew dude because TBH I was entertaining the thought of hanging out with him....vapid vibezzzzzz only. Now I'm not for crew love. I'm not even down for crew love adjacent. I live a mess free existence. So I go to Saul and ask about "mejustme" and low and behold I find out from Saul that not only does he know him...thats his brother and that mutual function was actually Saul's Birthday.Same Mother and Father. Insert "palm the face emoji". So I subsequently let "me just me" know it's all a bit too close to home for me and that I'm not that girl so there could never be anything between us. He understood and pretty much evaporated from my inbox and would just pop by here and now to speak which was cool. So fast forward back to the tag and dm.
He's now tagged himself so I inbox him and ask him about if he can do the work? I send him PICS AND VIDEO of the bathroom, the sink, the toilet and the wall. Thinking he would see it...you know maybe plan ahead and come prepared to knock it out! So after we discussed the price which was half of 2 other prices I was quoted, I was filled with glee as I had saved a couple hundred bucks and would be able to go to target and blow that extra money cause that's what I do! Red flag number 456. I ask him what time he can start because like me he's a single parent....more on that later. He replies, "whenever you're cooking.". To which I think, "Niggatry!!!! You aint my man!". I'm not cooking for you bro...and I let him know that in no uncertain terms but because of the savings I decided I would buy him lunch as a thank you.I hate myself sometimes.
So, today is the day and I'm fired up because the kiddos are with grandma and work is going to begin at 1pm sharp. Well at 108pm he's not here and hasn't called or texted and I'm a capricorn moon and I detest lateness. So at about 115pm I call him to see if he's still coming because I texted prior and got no response. So finally at about 120 he answers and says he's 10 minutes away but that he also doesnt really know where he is. Mind you he claims to be born and raised where I currently live, which is a city with a ten mile radius. Now I can attest this is true because again, he and Saul are brothers with the same mother and father so he was definitely born and raised here but couldn't find my house or manage to google map it or whatever...ok. No biggie. He gets there at 145 and looks at the wall, sink and toilet then asks me, a single divorcee' if I have a wrench. To which I reply..."what's that?". Which was my fancy way of saying NO. After gazing at me 30 seconds too long and telling me how beautiful I am, (insert eyeroll emoji) he immediately has to leave after just getting there to go get his tools. He came to lay tile with no tools. Insert palm face emoji. So he's leaving. I tell him to bring his tile cutter because at this point...I could smell what the Rock was cooking. He assures me it's a 2 hour job at 213pm. Later that evening at exactly 1014pm I had to pack a hoe bag and go sleep at my mum's house because though he had managed to get the majority of the tiles to finally stick to the wall after 8 hrs...he had no tools to replace the toilet for the evening and water was running from under the toilet because the wax seal was broken and the bolts were too short as well so he'd just do it In the morning after finishing the grout. So we decided we would just meet up at 730 am and finish the 2 hr turned 24 hr job. I will give honorable mention to the fact that he did sell me some weed since I couldn't make it to the dispensary and it was FIYA too. And that folks is the 1 star he would get on my yelp review. Hold your tits cause in the am it gets spicy.
So he texts me at 645am to cashapp him 50 dollars for materials and i'm thinking, "Yes, we're gonna get in and out this morning!".So I send it and get to my house at about 725. He pulls up close to 730 which is a vast improvement from the day before and gets inside and gets right to work. I make him a cup of hot tea because I'm polite and hospitable, which he immediately spills in my hallway. I clean it up and keep it pushing because the grout is in and drying and were getting on with the day. Then things go left. He has to leave. But he assures me he'll be back once the grout dries in an hour to clean the tile, replace the sink and toilet and get on. I didn't think to ask him why he was leaving but at about 945 he texts me and says he's on his way back he had to feed his kids. I get it...no worries. Were 3 hours in but were in the home stretch.Right after that he asks me if I want some head via text. Insert wtf emoji. Ummmmmm,nah. I want you to finish this fuckin job so you can be out of my life FOREVER. If only that would have been the end of the Niggatry. But oh nooooooo, there's more powerful Niggatry afoot.
He gets to my house at 1015 with both of his kids in tow. They bust in like KOOL AID and run in and immediately kick off their family dollar slide-ons and start touching everything! So being startled and having had no warning or clue he was bringing kids where there is essentially no toilet and bathroom I do what women do and I just...make due. So I relegate them to my kids room which is neatly made up with new weighted blankets and they waste no time playing with all the toys,just being kids really. No problem. Ten minutes in one of the kids has to boo boo. OF FUCKING COURSE! There is no toilet so I ask what he's gonna do? To which he responds, "Take them to someones house that I know off Rosecrans.". Ummmmmmmmm...okay. He asks the other KOOL AID child if he has to use it. I tell him to take him and not give him a choice so we can wrap shit up...I mean I said it nicer but I was clear. The boy says no and he leaves him talking about, "I'll be right back". THE FUCK! You don't even really know me like that! As soon as he leaves the little boy starts doing ALOT. I'm a mom though so I get him together and he's settled and fine. After about 20 minutes he starts asking for his dad. Poor kid. So I call him and low and behold his phone is on my bathtub ledge,vibrating....NIGGATRY. You leave your child with a virtual stranger and then leave your phone? Oh yeah....this some fuck shit for real, for real! So he finally gets back with little booboo and I offer his kids some water to which one accepts and immediately goes and pours all the water on my son's bed. He's in the bathroom "working" and hears me reprimanding his kid (gently) and says nothing. If you let your kids run wild around me I will reprimand them because it takes a village. Insert shrugging emoji.
So after a bit he realizes that the bolts he just purchased to replace the toilet are too short. He decides he's gonna just shoot to the general store and grab some and yup he leaves both of his kids. So while he's gone the KOOL AID kids do ok but one falls asleep and you know I read tarot right? Add to that I had just had my kids mattresses professionally cleaned the day before because though they're less than a year old...they're little boys. Insert yikes face. So yeah...
I had to wake the sleeping KOOL AID child up because on a hunch I asked the older brother if he wet the bed and he said..."yes, but only at night and sometimes when he's napping". Nope! Wake up.....let's play a game kids! I know it's kind of an asshole move but at this point I was hanging on by a thread to my sanity. So Bob the Builder goes back and forth to the store for the right bolt a total of 2 more times before he finally gets the toilet back on. Then to quote vilified celebrity Kanye to the, whoopity poop scoop....he had drilled a larger hole in the wall than the screws could fit into for the sink. So at this point Im ready to throw the whole project, him and the KOOL AID kids out the house. Keep in mind he was allowing his oldest son to hang out shoeless in the tub the entire time while he was in there using tile cutters and power tools. The boy is hanging from the shower rod at this point and I finally put my foot down. I tell him I have to go get my kids and that i'll leave my door unlocked and he can just come back and screw the the shit in and get on his way. I know it was stupid to leave him alone in my home but though he is a pervish and completely inept handyman...he ain't a thief. Nothing was touched. Not even the fucking sink.
Because you betcha the place he went to for the screws didn't have what he needed! Shocker! Now mind you ,you would think he knew that since he had been there and to home depot to get the toilet in a few times remember? I get back to the house after he leaves again with my 2 baks (bad ass kids) and their lunch. Imagine my confusion when I get in and see a little pair of generic crocs in my hallway. Was that child left in my home alone?
Oh no, he just went to home depot with the kids and let 1 of them go without his shoes on. Nothing to see here folks. Sooooo after yet another trip to home depot he came back and finally got the sink on and it's somewhat sturdy. And when I say somewhat I mean I'm probably going to have to hire someone else to come and fix the the sink and really get it attached good cause it's ricketier than an old wooden roller coaster. Insert swearing emoji! He made sure to tell me he had attached it the best he could and if it broke he wasn't liable.
I swiftly saw him and his shoeless son out of my home as the other kool aid child was in the car as he had fallen asleep and I closed the door on him and any future work forever. I go back in the bathroom to look at the shoddy job and as I'm staring into space thinking of all the bullshit I had weathered to save a few hundred bucks and just as I was thinking FUCK IT, a single tile fell off the wall. Niggatry!